back from mrsabbatical…sort of

Posted on August 4, 2009

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i’d apologize for my extended absence from updating, but i feel as though my reader(s) fall into one of three categories:

1. you don’t care

2. you don’t exist

3. you don’t warrant an apology

all of this, of course, is based on a major assumption involving the number of readers.  but on to the important stuff, starting with the running.

i took an extended leave of absence from running since early to mid-july due to an unforeseen medical condition which rendered me about as useful as helen keller’s short-lived career as an auctioneer.  short story short, i developed a lovely case of mrsa on my right leg which was painful as all get out.  it didn’t stop me from running per se, but i didn’t want to risk aggravating an already interesting and undesirable condition.  furthering my decision to take a break from running was the fact that my medication (yes, medication for a mrsa, which the press has dubbed “medically resistant”) included the following list of side effects: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, indigestion and heartburn, loss of appetite, sensitivity to sunlight, dysphagia, unusual headaches, blurred vision, joint pain, unexplained rash (i know what your thinking, and no, i don’t already have medication for that), fever, feeling tired, and dehydration.  essentially, in order to feel better, i had to feel like utter shit for two weeks’ worth of medication.  and let me tell you, it was fantastic.  i can honestly say that i experienced 95% of the side effects of my medication and it was wonderful.  and then there was the week after i finished my medication where i had the joy of mixing the side effects with coming off of a cycle of fairly strong medication.  good times.  so this definitely put a kink in my running schedule and, much like officer smy in super troopers, took me down a peg or two.  i should have replaced the g-d t.p.

bear = me with mrsa...can you guess who the medicine is?

bear = me with mrsa...can you guess who the medicine is?

secondly, and of seemingly much more importance/agony/anxiety/general inability to focus at work (sorry taxpayers), the wife and i are inching closer towards the end of our home search.  it all started about two weeks ago when i came home for my lunch break.  upset about our inability to really find a home we loved, i, in so many words, told the wife that i was finished searching for a home until january.  if she wanted to continue, that was fine, just let me know if she found something that was a) in our price range, b) in an area that was somewhat desirable, and, most importantly, c) worth our time in terms of actually going to see it.  so, that afternoon, she emailed me a few listings which we scheduled to see later that week.  well, wouldn’t you know it, for the first time ever she was right (if you’d like to discuss this, you can find me sleeping on the couch for the indefinite future).  we saw the house, loved it, it was in a great area, great price, and we put in an offer.  after some minor screw ups by the listing agent’s assistant as well as his feeble attempts to “split the difference” with us, our offer was accepted.  fast forward to today and the following things have been taken care of: loan approval, inspection, appraisal.  now we’re waiting for the seller to respond to our requests from the inspection; their deadline is close of business friday.  not that i’d want it to be this way, but we pretty much only asked for the make or break items on the inspection report, so hopefully the sellers will be amicable…only time shall tell.

in the meantime, we’ve been trying miserably to keep our minds off of the home.  so far, we’ve done the following on a daily or every-other-day basis:

– taken the dogs to the park

– played fetch with the dogs

– fulfilled our dreams of being morgan freeman/james earl jones by narrating the actions, emotions and ultimate life goals of our dogs

played cards kicked my wife’s ass in cards

– rocked out with guitar hero

– rented ridiculous amounts of movies, documentaries and television series from the library

– sat in awkward silence

– planned what projects we would do to the house, with what budget, and on what timeline

i realize the last one is the exact opposite of trying to occupy our minds, but it was inevitable, considering the only thing we really use the internet for is to follow home improvement blogs and gather ideas for home improvements.  come friday i’ll be very drunk, but whether that’s a happy drunk or an angry drunk remains to be seen.

and, because this is supposed to be about my running, here is the plan:  i’m resuming my program tomorrow (wednesday) evening and have decided to bump myself down one interval step just to stave off certain embarassment and disappointment.  this time off of running, while bad, has been somewhat good (and bad): i’ve noticed that i don’t feel as well overall without running, i don’t sleep as well at night, and some of the positive changes in terms of how my clothes fit are slowly reversing themselves…and, as a true fat kid at heart, i really can’t bring myself to be so wasteful as to resort to bulemia…the ultimate irony to the portly peoples of america.  actually, if you think about it, the portly peoples of america really is just america, so bulemia supports terrorism.  ever notice how skinny that damn bin laden is?  i’ll bet he purges.

until next time, i’ll leave you with a tasteless and humorless joke, sans punch-line:

the next item on the block: a 1947 buick sedan, low miles, former owner only drove it to church on sundays

the next item on the block: a 1947 buick sedan, low miles, former owner only drove it to church on sundays

have you ever seen helen keller’s house?

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